As I was putting Nami down for bed tonight, tears started to stream down my cheeks onto his soft curly brown hair. My sweet boy, my heart is breaking as September draws closer to us. I love you so much, and I'm dreading the day you're in pain and I can't do anything but hold you. As you lay here quietly in my arms drifing to sleep, I'm weeping for the pain that is promised to come. I keep asking, Why? Why does this sweet little boy have to endure so much pain in his short little life? Why can't I be the one to endure the pain for him? All I can do is weep. I'm so sorry that I can't take it away. I'm so sorry that it's you and not me. Good night my sweet baby boy. I love you with all my heart.
(written 4/4/14)
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